Young Werther was quite highly strung
And lacking social skills
He felt each slight as twere a wound
And lived on liver pills.
He went to Wahlheim for a rest
And there met fair Charlotte
He could not speak his love so he
Sat upstairs smoking pot.
Now Charlotte was engaged to wed
An older man called Bert
So Werther, being a prize twat
Saw both and felt quite hurt
Eventually he went away
And got into more strife
Then he returned to find his friends
Were married - man and wife!
She said he'd best not call again
And they'd no more converse
He sobbbed and read a poem so
It went from bad to verse.
He knew one of the three must die;
Werther, Lot or Al;
He thought he'd rather top himself
Than gun down either pal.
He shot himself but 'quel suprise'
He took twelve hours to die;
They stuck him 'neath a linden tree
No more to mope and cry.
The moral of this story is
'Young men upon vacation;
If she you like is spoken for
Refrain from masturbation
Get on your bike, get some fresh air
Get out more, play the flute;
Instead of planning suicide
Just f*ck a prostitute
Time heals all things, this too shall pass
And [here comes your reward]
Just call back in a year or three
When Lotte's getting bored.
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